Whatever Way I Can
by Tofu-Master
Summary: Two years after the Final Battle, Bookman is back in London, where Fate decides to throw him in the midst of "Lavi's" friends. They all accept his choice to take the deceased Bookman's place...all except one. Kanda refuses... Full Summary Inside! KxL
1. First Contact

_**Summary:**__ Two years after the Final Battle, Bookman (Lavi) is back in London, where Fate decides to throw him in the midst of "Lavi's" friends. They all accept his choice to take the deceased Bookman's place...all except one. Kanda refuses to believe that "Lavi" is gone, and is determined to bring his ex-lover back, whatever way he can.  
Oh yeh...UKE-LAVI~!!!! _

___**Author's Note:**__ Hiya~ I'm finally back! (Well...back ta bein' -slightly- productive). I'm sorry i've been inactive fer so long - since April, i think? At least, tha' was when i last updated "Traitor"...which HAS NOT been abandoned, people!! I've jus' been busy. I'm halfway through writin' the epilogue, an' it'll hopefully be posted...soon? I'm hopin' at LEAST within the month... Anyhoodles. This fic, is one i started a few months ago. Jus' haven't gotten around ta postin' it here, till now. Gunna put it up on my AFF account, as well, soon as i'm done here. In any case, the second chapter is done as well, but i'm not gunna post it here till i'm at least HALFWAY through chapter 3. Gomen ne, mina.   
-bows-_

_(Ps, sorry this is SO DAMNED SHORT. I know i usually write chapters a bit longer than this, but...this is where i wanted ta leave this one off. So yeh. Forgive me?) _

_**Disclaimer:**__ No, i dun own D. Gray-Man. If i did, well.....i think ya all know what'd happen, jus' from readin' my fictions, ne? -evil cackle-_

_Enjoy, my minions~!!!!! _8D

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

**Chapter One - First Contact**

Bookman tucked away his notebook as the train lurched to a stop. Gathering his limited possessions, the redhead stepped off the train, and into the night. It was the first time he'd been in London since the old Bookman had died, leaving the grief-stricken teenager to take his place. That had been just over two years ago.

It sure brought back a lot of memories; not all of them good.

The young Bookman let out a soft sigh, and turned left, heading in the direction of the nearest Inn. The trek took him an overall fifteen minutes, and soon he was standing in the entrance of a grand building, with obvious Chinese influence in its architecture. He'd be sure to add that to his logs, later.

Wasting no time, he opened the door, and walked inside, leaving the cold of the night behind him. The instant the door creaked shut, a young Chinese woman - who'd been sitting behind the desk, reading - snapped her head up to look at him, a well-practiced smile plastered to her face. The smile faltered as soon as she recognized the young man who'd entered.

"L-Lavi!?" she exclaimed, her mouth falling open partly in surprise, and partly in disbelief. "What are you-You're _alive??_"

Bookman smiled politely, and inclined his head toward the girl. "Hello, Lenalee. It's good to see you are well."

Lenalee's expression changed to one of sadness, as she immediately noted the stark change in "Lavi's" personality. "You're not...Lavi, anymore, are you? You're Bookman."

"And you're no longer miss Lee. Am I right, Mrs. Walker?" he responded, having noticed the fine diamond on the woman's finger.

Lenalee blushed, and nodded. "You know, La-Bookman," she corrected her slip immediately. "Yuu-kun is still in London... You should say hi to him, while you're here."

Bookman's mask of indifference faltered for the briefest of moments at the mention of his once-lover, but he caught himself before the other could notice. "He wouldn't want to see me," the redhead stated simply, his voice completely devoid of any form of emotion.

"He'll want to know you're alive, at the very least!" the Chinese woman insisted vehemently. "He thinks you're _dead!!_ We _all_ did!!"

"I'm sorry that I led you to believe I suffered such a fate, but as you now know, that is not the case. I am only in town for a few weeks, after which I will be leaving. It's unlikely any of you will be seeing or hearing from me again, after that. It would be best if no one else knew of my...presence here."

Lenalee scoffed. "Well, that's not going to happen. Allen checks the activity log every night, and every morning. He'll see that you're here, and easily put it together. As for Yuu-kun, I am going to be informing him that you're here. If he wants to see you or not, will be up to him. But I will NOT keep this from them. We're your _friends!_"

"You were 'Lavi's' friends," Bookman corrected calmly. "Lavi is gone. Therefore, I maintain no ties to any of you, and as such, have no obligations to you."

Lenalee's eyes darkened in anger, and she stalked up to Bookman, and promptly slapped him across the cheek. Hard.

"How DARE you!!" she all but screamed at him. "We cared about you, dammit!! We _still do!!_ I don't CARE if you think you're not the same, or that you have no ties to us! That doesn't change how WE feel about you! And Yuu-kun... Yuu-kun _loves_ you, for God's sake! Even after thinking you were dead for over two years, _he still loves you_."

Bookman's face was a hard, emotionless mask. "I'd like a room, please," he finally whispered, leaving no room for further discussion on the topic.

Lenalee nodded, her lips drawn in a taut line. The small Chinese woman went to a cabinet behind the counter, and retrieved a fairly new-looking silver key. She pushed it towards him, along with a list of signatures. "Sign here, please. Breakfast is served at 8:30am."

Precisely 21 minutes and 13 seconds later, Bookman had unpacked his meagre belongings, and was laying on the rather comfortable bed. He'd already recorded a description of the room in his log. A twin-sized bed - with four plush gold pillows, and a matching comforter - was tucked neatly into the right corner of the room, and if the redhead lifted his head to look over his feet, he would see the door. In the left corner of the room - directly opposite the bed - was an intricate, decent-sized Asian-themed wardrobe, which already held all his clothes, and his satchel. In the center of the room, was a simple, yet elegant rug, of the brightest shade of red - and the young man couldn't help but laugh at the irony, that he should get a room with accessories to match the alarming shade of his hair. There was a large window in the middle of the wall, between the bed and the wardrobe, and below it was a fine desk, carved out of ceadar-wood.

Bookman stiffled a yawn, then turned to the small alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed. _11:54pm_. Quite early, considering how late he usually stayed up. But tonight he was weary, the long journey having robbed him of most of his energy. So he pulled the blankets up to his chin, and was soon asleep.

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

The alarm was blaring.

It needed to shut up.

But if it shut up, its whole purpose would be defeated. And Bookman didn't like things without a purpose.

With an exaggerated groan of defeat, Bookman sat up and slid his feet out of the bed. Running a quick hand through the tangled mess that was his hair, he decided he was in dire need of a shower. The young man stood up, and made his way to the walk-in bathroom, located next to the wardrobe. After he washed, he would go downstairs, and see what was being served for breakfast.

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

The moment he stepped foot inside the dining area, he regretted it. It wasn't the harsh glare from Allen Walker - who was serving another guest their tea - that chilled his blood. Nor was it the semi-apologetic look Lenalee was casting him. No...what made the young Bookman stop in his tracks, was the equally young Asian man seated at a table in the corner of the room, dark eyes narrowed. Directly. At. Him.

Bookman made a face, and promptly turned on his heel, prepared to leave the room and pretend he hadn't seen any of those painfully familiar faces. But suddenly, there were hands roughly gripping both his upper arms, preventing him from vacating the scene as he so wished.

"You're not going _anywhere_, baka Usagi." The voice was low and familiar, with just the hint of a threat of danger in it's undertones. But even without that voice so close, Bookman knew instantly who it was standing behind him. "Not until we talk."

"Please unhand me, Kanda."

The grip on his arms tightened considerebly, and suddenly he was being spun around, and slammed into the wall, with the Japanese man towering over him. When he'd gotten so tall, Bookman had no clue, but this was most definitely going in the record.

"Don't....you _ever_ call me that...!!"

"But that's your name," Bookman defended blankly.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Lavi!!" Kanda snarled, leaning in so close that their noses were almost touching. "You've _never_ called me 'Kanda', and I sure as Hell don't want you to start now!"

By this time, Allen was hearding any lingering customers out of the dining area, and Lenalee was watching the two older males with a worried expression, her hands wringing tighly in her apron.

"You...I should kill you right now..."

"But what purpose would that serve?" Bookman questioned calmly. "Who would benefit from my death? Certainly not you."

That remark earned him nothing but a hard smack to his right cheek. Kanda's hand had moved so fast, he couldn't have blocked it even if it _hadn't_ been on his blind side.

"And what makes you think that? You think I wouldn't hesitate to rid the world of a bitch like _you_?"

"You won't kill me, because you still love 'Lavi', and I still look like him," reasoned Bookman, though his confidence was dwindling. Kanda's eyes widened briefly in shock, before narrowing in a dark scowl. The next thing either of them knew, Kanda had lunged forward, and claimed the young redhead's lips in a harsh kiss, betraying all his pent up anger, grief, hatred, and even love. Bookman gasped, and the samurai took advantage of his parted lips, to deepen the kiss. Lenalee and Allen had already left the room - giving the two men some privacy - but neither seemed to notice their absence. Finally regaining his senses, Bookman promptly shoved Kanda away from him, though the older man's painfully tight grip on his arms remained.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing, Kanda?"

"Kissing you," the Asian man replied smugly, a light smirk playing upon his lips. "Is it really that strange, considering how...close we were?"

Bookman sighed, and gazed up at Kanda with a narrowed eye. "You and 'Lavi' were lovers. I am not 'Lavi'. Not anymore."

Kanda smacked him again.

"You are! You may not think you are, but I _know_ Lavi's still in there somewhere! And I will do _whatever it takes_ to bring make _you_ realize that."

With a surprising show of strength, Bookman knocked the swordsman back and away from him. Not waiting for the startled man to recover, the younger of the two walked at a brisk pace to the door. Stopping with his hand on the knob, he looked back over his shoulder, at Kanda with a pitiful expression. "'Lavi' is dead. You can't bring back the dead, Kanda."

And then, he was gone.

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

_**Author's Note:**__ Well!! Whaddya think of the first installment? I hope ya all liked it as much as i do...well, maybe not AS much - tha'll be a hard feat ta accomplish - but at least enough ta.......LEAVE A REVIEW???? Seriously, peoples...it ain't tha' hard. I ain't expectin' ya ta right me a novel, jus' click a lil' button, an' tell me what ya think~ Even if it's jus' a few short words. I'll leave it open ta anonymous reviews, but make sure ta USE YER USERNAME, or at LEAST leave me yer email address (in this format: blank (at) email-source (dot) com ), so i can git back ta ya an' answer any questions ya may have._

_Love ya all~_

_-hearts-_


	2. First Mistake

_**Author's Note:**__ Hiya~ Sorry...the update is a day late. My dad conned me inta paintin' the fence yesterday...150 feet of fuckin' FENCE. -___- So...i was pretty busy (not ta mention, i looked like a leopard, covered from head-ta-toe in orange/brown paint-splatters... xD). An' my hands really hurt, so i didn't feel like typin'. In any case, it's jus' passed 4am, an' i'm prolly gunna go ta bed in a few hours, so i figured i'd git this up now, then do some more work on chapter 3.  
Enjoy~!!_

_**Disclaimer:** Refer ta chapter 1. Seriously. It'll make everyone feel better. -implodes-_

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

**Chapter Two - First Mistake**

Bookman was in no particular hurry to return to the inn, that evening. But the day's events needed to be recorded, and it was the young man's duty to write his logs on a daily basis.

Sighing, he fixed a neutral expression on his face, and pushed open the front door. He nodded in acknowledgment as he passed by Lenalee's desk, then headed up the stairs. He made his way swiftly to the third floor, and turned right, quickly reaching his room. The redhead pushed the door open, and kicked it shut with his foot as his gloved hand sought out the light-switch.

He was not prepared by what the light revealed. Nor was he all too pleased. Narrowing his uncovered eye at Kanda, Bookman crossed his arms, waiting for an explanation.

The swordsman stood from his seat on the redhead's bed, and slowly moved towards the younger man. Bookman, of course, moved away, until he was backed into a corner, with Kanda standing directly in front of him, blocking any possible chance of escape. Yet still, the Japanese man kept advancing, until he was pressed flush against his ex-lover's smaller body.

"Kanda..." Bookman ground out, ignoring the too-intimate hands that were now running slowly up and down his sides. "I thought I'd made it clear...your relationship with 'Lavi' died when he did."

"Lavi is _not_ dead," Kanda growled, shoving the redhead tighter into the corner, and leaning so close that the two men were forced to share air-space. "So stop saying that."

Bookman closed his eye, and sighed heavily. "'Lavi' _is_ dead, because I _let_ him _die_. He died when the old Bookman was killed; when I was forced to take the old man's place."

"...Forced..?" Kanda repeated slowly, a small grin forming on his lips.

Bookman immediately realized his slip-up, and tried to change the subject. "I won't deny that 'Lavi' was in love with you, because that's a fact I know to be true. Had he been given a choice, he probably would have chosen a life with you, over the solitary life of a Bookman." He paused, thinking of how to continue, but quickly continued speaking, the moment Kanda opened his mouth to interrupt. "But he was _not_ given a choice, and because of that, he is _gone_. I am a Bookman now, Kanda. 'Lavi' is no longer a part of who I am, and nor will he ever be again."

"...I refuse to believe that," Kanda snarled, shaking his head. "Your persona has been slipping far too much for me to believe that Lavi's gone. Too much for me to believe that _you_ think he's gone. You're trying too hard to be something we both know you're not, and it _won't_ work. Not on me, Lavi." Finished with his speech, the Asian reached out with one hand, and flicked off the light. Bookman gasped softly, as two large, calloused hands cupped his face. "Remember this, Lavi? We used to do this all the time...fool around in the dark. You can't see a thing right now, but I can see you perfectly. I'm going to _make_ you remember."

Bookman gulped, and went still as he felt Kanda's tongue travel lightly from his collar bone, up his neck, and finally to his lips. The samurai paused briefly, breathing heavily against the other man's lips, before pushing his tongue inside. Bookman didn't bother to put up a fight this time, and simply allowed the older man to explore the cavern of his mouth. Slowly, his hands went up - of their own accord, mind you - to rest lightly on Kanda's hips, inadvertently pulling the Asian closer. Kanda smirked against Bookman's lips, and gently ground against him, eliciting a soft gasp from the redhead.

"Yuu..." Bookman moaned, once again slipping out of his 'objective' persona. Letting his instincts take control, he slid a gloved hand forward to squeeze Kanda's crotch tightly. The unexpected action caught the older man off-guard, causing him to freeze in place, and stare at his former-lover with wide eyes. Bookman, broken out of his lustful daze, let out a frantic yelp, and shoved Kanda away from him.

The Japanese stumbled backwards, eyes still wide. He'd been expecting the younger man to slip-up a few times..but **that** had just been too 'Lavi', too soon. Suddenly, he narrowed his eyes, realizing that in his surprise, he'd lost his control over the situation.

"Lavi..." The second the name left his mouth, Bookman's eye widened, and he bolted for the door with desperation. Kanda lunged forward, his hand outstretched towards the redhead...and he missed, by mere centimeters. Bookman was out the door, and running down the stairs, two at a time, with Kanda not far behind.

"Lavi, wait!!" he growled, finally grabbing hold of the back of the smaller man's jacket, just as they reached the foyer of the inn. Bookman turned as far as he could, and lashed out with his fist, but Kanda easily dodged the badly aimed blow. Lenalee looked up from the front desk with a surprised gasp, before rushing out of the room. Not even a minute later, she returned with Allen, who calmly approached the two older males.

"Kanda...let him go." Allen's words were soft, but were an obvious command, none the less. Kanda glared at the slightly shorter man, and slowly - hesitantly - released his hold on his quarry's coat. Bookman stumbled a bit, but caught his balance quickly enough, that its momentary loss could have easily been played off as a figment of one's imagination.

"I think...I'll stay out tonight," he stated calmly, once again in perfect control of his emotions; or seeming lack thereof. Lenalee nodded in understanding, while Allen just continued to focus a soft glare at his Japanese friend. As soon as the heavy doors closed behind Bookman, Kanda let out a frustrated grunt, and yanked his arm out of Allen's grip.

"I'm going to meditate," he said slowly, making his way to the stairs. "Anyone who interrupts me, gets their hands cut off."

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

It was raining.

Which meant it was cold, and it was wet: two things Bookman hated being. But still, it was better than returning to the inn, and facing Kanda. The redhead _still_ couldn't believe he'd slipped like that. It was unacceptable. But still...

It allowed him to escape, unscathed.

Bookman sighed, and ran a hand through his rain-soaked red locks. He'd foregone the headband years ago, which left his hair to hang carelessly in his face. Though honestly, he didn't mind it. His visible eye was left uncovered, so what had he to lose? The bandana had just been too...'Lavi'. It had needed to go.

Gazing up at the cloudy night sky as he leaned back on the hard tiles of the bridge he'd found, Bookman closed his eyes to the rain...to the turmoil rampaging through his mind, and - though he'd never admit it - his heart. Or so, he tried.

Thoughts of the reckless samurai refused to leave his mind in peace, and old memories from 'Lavi's' past - ones he'd thought he'd pushed away to the deepest corners of his mind - resurfaced, forcing Bookman to realize something that he found immensely troubling.

'Lavi' wasn't as 'dead' as he'd initially believed. Or, more truthfully, as he'd _tried_ to believe. Perhaps Kanda had been right in his assumptions. And if that be the case...then perhaps it was Bookman himself who'd been in the wrong; running away like he had.

Bookman quickly shook himself of such detrimental thoughts. He _was_ in the right. If he had stayed, and played along with Kanda's...'game', then he would have been sent straight back to square-one. He was a Bookman. No one else could do the job he'd set out to do, and he needed to stick to it. No exceptions.

Shaking his head, and laughing in self-contempt, Bookman stood from the unforgiving ground, and made his way back to the inn. He and Kanda would have a nice little chat, like two grown, civilized men, and they would sort out this...miscommunication, once and for all.

It was time to face the music.

**xoxox xoxox xoxox**

_**Author's Note: **Once again, dears....sooo sorry fer the length (or lack thereof) of the chapter. I prooooomise, chapter 3 will be longer, at least by a bit. Eugh. Motivation has been scarce in my life recently, but alas...i'm tryin' ta git things under control. I've jus' been goin' through (quite) a bit of a hard time, so...please be patient with me? I promise it'll git better.  
Love ya guys, toodles~ _


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